Wives in the Work Place (Part 3)

by Thomas F. Leake December 22, 2019

This is part 3 of the blog series on Wives in the Workplace. Visit here to read Part 1 and Part 2

In Part 2 we examined the biblical role of women in marriage. Let's continue in our series to see how the foundation of biblical womanhood informs our view of wives working outside the home.

The Contribution of Proverbs 31 – A Detailed Picture of God’s Ideal Wife for a Man

Where in inspired Scripture do we have a fuller and more vivid description of the worthy woman of the home, the excellent wife and mother, then in Proverbs 31? In Proverbs 31:1-31 we have (interestingly) not the teaching of some insensitive man daydreaming of what he thinks an ideal woman ought to be, but the teaching of a wise and godly mother, who is experienced in the realities of life and who faithfully teaches them to her son, King Lemuel.

In v. 10 this mother gets to her main concern for her son. “Find an excellent woman to be your wife.” Find her, get her, don’t settle for less. V. 10 “Believe me, son, … her worth is far more than jewels.” This kind of woman is a rare gem. Notice way down in v. 29 the husband testifies about this woman, “Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all.” She is a cut above even the noble ones.

To make sure her son would never forget this description of the kind of woman to make his wife, this king’s mother puts her advice in v. 10-22, in the form of an acrostic where each verse starts with one of the letters of the Hebrew alphabet making it easy to memorize: 22 letters of the alphabet; 22 verses; 22 descriptions of this excellent woman.

The Hebrew term translated “excellent” or “virtuous” in v. 10 is “khayil.” Its meaning may surprise you! Basically the word conveys the idea “force” or “strength.” This excellent woman is a woman of force and a woman of strength of character. A virtuous woman is a woman who powerfully influences her family positively and thus impacts society through her family. She is a woman of impact. She is physically strong, mentally tough, morally firm, and spiritually rooted. And of great importance to our study, the excellent woman is devoted to her family. She is trusted by her husband, v. 11, and blessed by her children, v. 28. Her strength of character -- her virtue -- is seen by her having joy and stamina in her work, v. 13, 18; planning with care and prudence, v.15, 16; showing generosity to the poor, v. 20; teaching wisdom to her children, v. 26; and worshipping in reverence, v. 30.

The force of her character and work is noted by everyone. Her husband delights in her, v. 29. Her children bless her, v. 28. Her neighbors honor her, v. 31. Even her servant girls respect her, v. 15. In v. 11, the very first description given of this woman of strength is that she is trusted by her husband. Her husband can go away from the home, work hard at his profession, give full attention to his work, labor to provide the best that he can for the family, and all the while he has no anxiety, no fear, and no concern. Why Not? … because he knows that he has a wife at home who possesses integrity, wisdom, and strength competently caring for all the needs of his family. She is capable, and he knows he can depend on her.

The clear implication here is that this woman has important responsibilities in the home to manage it well without being constantly supervised by her husband. He puts all the precious possessions he has obtained in her hands. He confidently expects her to preserve and allocate the family’s resources. He does not leave in the morning wondering if the children will be properly trained, but he rests assured that the family’s activities will be coordinated in a wise and orderly manner.

In the verses to follow we see that this woman is no wallflower - no pansy – but a responsible wife and mother set over important matters in the home. She is a woman with authority and at the same time under the authority of her husband to please him so that -- v. 11 “He will have no lack of gain.” In other words, whatever he works hard to obtain and places in her hands, she won’t lose, but will multiply.

This description continues in v. 12, “She does him good, not evil all the days of her life.” She takes her marriage vows seriously. In sickness and in health – All the days of her life she seeks his best interest and encourages him in his vision and leadership and builds up his reputation. Not even the children take priority over his interests. His concern is her concern. Her man is her occupation. She seeks no other occupation. God holds her up as the model for all women to emulate.

What a contrast this is from the modern American women whom our society so esteems and honors. The modern superwoman, the liberated woman, whose honor comes from asserting her independence from her husband not her support of him. She works to be better known than her husband. Rather than making it her ambition that he is honored, she works first for her own honor and just expects her husband to be ok with that. In the home she expresses her own opinions boldly not too concerned with honoring her husband as her head. And why not? The husband is not the leader in her eyes. Therefore she can also leave the home, neglecting many of her responsibilities in order to acquire her own job, to her own career advancement. Often with that kind of a mindset there’s not a lot time even for the kids. To express her independence she even keeps separate her own bank account, credit cards, and car just in case she decides to call the marriage quits.

Additionally she expects her husband to do half of the chores at home and the family to cook their own meals. Meanwhile she works overtime to advance her career. Unfortunately the time spent away from home often leads to an affair at work. But what about her husband? What about the family? “Oh, it’s not her fault that her family falls apart. She must be given equal opportunity!”

“Don’t marry a woman like that, my son! Find an excellent woman instead, because, v. 23 'her husband is known in the gates.’” The “gate” was the place of honor and importance in ancient cities. There, “he sits among the elders of the land.” In other words, her work causes his honor. She has created a home for him so that he could be everything he needed to be in his profession. He has risen in influence due to her support. He has gained a good reputation in the business and governing world because he has a godly helper! The husband of an excellent wife has sat down with men of import because of the full support of his wife. Proverbs 12:4 puts it well, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rottenness in his bones.”

Now we don’t have space for the rest of the description of this wife, but all the work she does listed is for that concern. She is extremely smart, industrious, joyful, and hardworking. She shows managing ability and business savvy. This woman is strong v. 17, “She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong.” There is a measure of intensity to her work. The well run home is not for the faint of heart. It is not for those who tire quickly or can’t discipline themselves. It is not for those who content themselves with just getting by.

Verse 18, “She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night.” She is driven by that sense of gain that is good for the family. Look what v. 25 adds to this description, “Strength and dignity are her clothing and she smiles at the future.”
She is an industrious planner. Back in verse 14 it describes, ”She is like merchant ships: She brings her food from afar.” Merchant ships in ancient days were a sight to behold, a real blessing. They brought better and rarer products to Israel. She has researched where to get the better products, and she made careful arrangements for the trip to procure them. She has looked ahead and orchestrated her weeks and her month to get the best for her home. She has a good meal plan and an organized grocery list.
Verse 15 also shows both these attributes at work, “She rises also while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and portions to her maidens.” She even outworks her servants.

I wish more women developed a conviction about what their homes and husbands could be. I wish they affirmed that the home is the best place for a woman to use her education and skills including in communication, administration, accounting, persuasion, forecasting, investing, and management. There is so much a home can become through her influence if she just had a vision for it!

Look at the breadth of career-like responsibilities she carries!

16 “She considers a field and buys it, from her earnings she plants a vineyard.” She researches the land; she negotiates the prices; she closes the deal; then she plans and supervises the planting of a productive vineyard that carries on the earnings. This encompasses a number of career skills: Real estate, investment, surveying land, bank negotiations etc…
21 “She is not afraid of the snow for her household, for all her household are clothed with scarlet.” The wool she acquired is dyed in scarlet showing she has a touch of class. She is not just a woman of function but also a woman who cares for beauty and style. Her planning is not a bare bones - just-get-the-job-done and scratch-it-off-the-list – plan. Fashion, seamstress, tailor, designer. V 22. “She makes covering for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple.” She even plans to keep her appearance neat. Modest, yet neat, fashion is important to her.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them and supplies belts to the tradesmen.” First she labors to make excellent products, then she shows skills for marketing and sales management and keeping an inventory.
27 “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” She exercises a continuous surveillance over the whole house. She is a great manager. She knows what is going on, when it is going on, and why. She understands business systems and flow charts and interoffice communications. Today she would use computers and the latest software competently What she eats satisfies her because she knows she has earned it.

Why do so many women desire to expend all that talent on some business or government agency and then perform in a mediocre fashion at home? Your family is your heritage, wives! Ladies, do you have a vision for what your home can become? It can be a place so well run and so creative, that it overflows with ministry to the poor or for the gospel through hospitality or many other ministries. V. 31 indicates that her reputation spilled over into the community. People were talking about her and so was her husband.

Application

Of course, we need to remember that the ancient Hebrew culture was quite different than our modern American culture. When we apply these scriptures, we must do so by principles rather than by absolutes. This will come more sharply into focus in our next and final post, part 4.