Wives in the Work Place: A Selfish Sin? A Smart Solution? or A Saintly Submission? (Part 1)

Introduction

The greatest woman in the world to me is my wife of many years. I know she would blush and not agree, but I have watched her in action everyday, and I have seen her sincere Christianity at work. I can say that the things I write about here concerning a woman who truly supports her husband in the full use of her gifts and talents, my precious Susan, has exemplified through more than three decades of marriage, and in an even greater way as time has passed.

She has supported me, not only by home schooling our children, taking care of the home business, cooking, doing the laundry, and being an in-home nurse who gets up at all hours of the night to help, but also as a fellow worker in whatever ministry the Lord called me to serve. From the time I worked at Christian camps all the way to my ministry as Senior Pastor of Hope Bible Church, she has labored alongside me and helped shape me into the man I am.

Just to afford you some examples:

• She worked with me as my assistant at Day Camp managing the office and keeping the schedule running all day.
• She worked alongside me at the overnight Christian camp as a cook and confidant.
• She worked as a Christian school teacher and at a retail store to put me through seminary the first time.
• When I was a fourth grade teacher she would often pop in at school with our young girls to assist in class or to drop off some scrumptious lunch, and offer assistance on projects.
• Furthermore when there was not enough income for our children to have tennis lessons, she helped us roll newspapers to deliver early on Thursday mornings.
• In California while at seminary the third time, she assisted me in the Filipino church, where I was an associate pastor, earning the love and respect of the congregation.  

She has worked both inside the home and outside the home, but always for the benefit of the home and never to usurp my God-given role to lead our family and provide for the family. She is precious to me, invested in the family, and impactful far beyond our home. I think she serves as a solid example of how to use one’s gifts and talents both in the home and in the workplace for the benefit of the home, all done under the Lordship of Christ, the leadership of her husband, and with a desire to apply the Scriptures concerning the role of women rightly.

A Relevant Question

The topic about women working inside or outside the home is a relevant question. Many women in church do actually work away from home. So they want to know if they have made the right choice or if they have strayed from God’s best.

Modern technology has made traditional physical work at home less arduous and time consuming allowing women to dedicate time to other pursuits. However, is this the right role for godly women? In our neck of the American woods, our church families face financial pressures due to a high cost of living. This pressures Christian families, who would prefer the mother to remain at home, to consider a second income in order to pay bills and have a better quality of life. Is this ok, and at what point does this work become a pursuit of the materialistic? The allure of materialism and financial advancement is unceasingly strong in our culture which often paves the way for homes to pursue two incomes rather than one.

Additionally, due to available education for women, and due to changed attitudes of society toward women, opportunities for women in the work world abound unlike other times in history. Now, more women are educated in higher institutions, and they often believe it would be a waste of their education if they did not use their talents in a career to serve society at a paying job. Does that represent the liberation of women from a male-dominated society or is that women being cunningly lured away from their God-given calling?

The traditional family has been under assault for decades in America as biblical roles for women get swept aside as archaic and a hindrance to the advancement of women. Churches increasingly have followed the world’s leadership in this regard. Currently Evangelicals do not hold uniform positions on the issue of women at work. This confuses the sheep, not to mention creating disharmony among Christians.

Husbands nowadays also often have expectations for increased income which put pressure on their wives. Women want to please their husbands, but should they go along with their husband’s desire for more income when their heart wants to be queen at home? 

Young Christian moms, I have noticed, want the best for their children, and they don’t want to make a mistake by neglecting their children’s needs in favor of aspirations placed on them by their ambitious parents who paid for their costly education. They may feel stuck between the kids needs and their parent’s expectations.

All of these realities and more make this a relevant question.

 

A Controversial Question

The question is also controversial because of the strong opinions that can run on both sides. Emotions run high whenever the role of women is seriously discussed.

Stay-at-home moms may judge women who work outside the home or they may sense that they are put down by professional working women. Parents in our evangelical culture disagree about how much to delegate the training of their children to daycares and schools and how much they should do directly themselves. Some parents believe it is best for their children to start school early. Others think that would be compromising with the world, and would reduce the parent role if they attend school at 3 or 4 yrs. of age. Some families feel so strongly one way or another they may even choose not to fellowship with families holding different convictions.

Martha Peace, a well known woman teacher, chimes in about the difficulty of broaching the subject, “One of the most frequent questions I'm asked is, ‘Is it all right for a Christian woman to work outside the home?’ I dread this question because no matter how I reply, someone will be upset with me. Feminists in society and the church cry foul if any restriction on women is taught, advanced, justified, or encouraged.” 

For a man just to raise the topic in some churches can get a man “scalped” if he dares to challenge the prevailing assumptions of the feminist elite. Too many in the past have given simplistic and rigid or legalistic answers to this question thereby turning women off from what they consider to be an insensitive and naïve male chauvinist position. Yet others want their church leaders to “toe the line” and make sure they are teaching from the pulpit that a woman should remain at home.

So it is hard to broach this subject and keep level headed.

A Complicated Question

You may wish the issue is cut and dry in Scripture, but careful study will indicate it is complicated by the different Scriptures that pertain to the subject. It is also complicated due to the differing circumstances people face.

For example, is the question even relevant to single women and single moms? How else will they support themselves and their children if they do not work outside the home? Also how does home business fit into the equation? Is that work allowed because it is geographically inside the home, or is that keeping the letter of the law while violating the spirit of it? Is the issue the location of the woman’s work or how much time and focus she puts into work or how that much work benefits the family? Should we give a different answer depending on whether the work is part-time or full-time? Does it make a difference whether the wife’s boss is a male or female? Does it make a difference what kind of work it is? What about women with unsaved husbands who have strong expectations that their wives must work? Should they be counseled to work in order to show submission and loyalty, and thus win them to Christ? What about women with handicapped husbands who depend on their wives to work? What about women with men facing a unique temporary challenge such as imprisonment, college, loss of job, or even drug dependency?

On their website, “Grace to You” comments, “The question of whether a wife should work outside the home cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. It can only be addressed in the context of a clear understanding of God’s priorities for women. A fundamental priority for every Christian woman is to live sensibly. At its most basic level a sensible woman is one who understands God’s priorities for her life and lives a self-controlled and an orderly life consistent with those priorities …”

An Answerable Question

Fortunately we believe it is also an answerable question. The Word of God provides sufficient wisdom to guide our families. 2 Peter 1:3 explains that “ … His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” 2 Timothy 3:16 also points out that “All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;” Psalm 119:18 beseeches of the Lord, “Open my eyes, that I may behold wonderful things from Your law.”

We do not need unnecessary divisions between families and churches over this issue, but a growth in our understanding of what Scripture teaches and how we should apply that teaching with Christlike maturity to our particular situation and needs. Rather than giving a “yes” or “no” answer to this question, I believe it will serve our community of believers better by taking a closer look at some of the more pertinent Scriptures, and then provide some reasonable and balanced applications.